


short days, long nights

by uncoollove



Category: Queen of the South (TV)
Genre: F/M, kinda angsty cause you know its post 3x11, more introspective but a lot of golden jeresa nuggets, this is in teresas pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 05:11:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15901560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uncoollove/pseuds/uncoollove
Summary: Sleepless nights are pretty common for Teresa Mendoza but tonight was hitting her hard.post 3x11 angstiness





	short days, long nights

They live in a mansion, an odd 9 rooms, 5 bathrooms, and a big ass backyard for an endless amount of kids that she’ll never have. But after last night this house, as big as it was, felt like it was caving in and suffocating Teresa. 

Kelly-Anne, her friend, her sister, a liar, a traitor. Her heart ached at that harsh reality she had to face these last 24 hours. She felt like pieces of herself were slowly starting to be permanently stripped away. Kelly-Anne wasn’t the only fatality last night, her relationship with James, was hanging on by a thread ready to snap. All because she couldn’t bring herself to trust him. 

She felt a deep pit at the bottom of her stomach just thinking about the look of anguish on his face when he found out Pote and herself had suspected him. She never wanted to hurt him like that again, that was if she ever got the chance. 

Her mind was racing a mile a minute while lying there in bed, the silence of the dreadful night was completely swallowing her whole. Sometimes she wished she had the luxury of erasing every bad night, day, month, year out of her memory. Life would be so much easier if she didn’t have to be Teresa Mendoza for a short 24 hours.

She looked over and ran her hand over the empty space James filled just the other night. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she really missed someone. Not like how she missed Guero when he died, twice. Or the family she long lost as a child. You know how you can miss someone but they’re right in front of you? Longing seems like the better word. 

So strange that she got so comfortable with their intimacy, and not the physical kind. Just the simplicity of him sleeping in the same bed felt right. Like he was meant to be there. And that pesky thought right there was the sole reason she was terrified of the vulnerability of their relationship. If she got too comfortable, too attached to him, the rug would be instantly pulled out from underneath her like it has been every single time. People like Teresa don’t get their perfect person that they get to ride off into the sunset with, just look at what happened to Guero. He quite literally died for her.

She changed positions and huffed out in exhaustion, her anxiety-ridden thoughts were rendering her sleepless. She’s hit a brick wall in her mind. So, she figured the only thing she could do, at 3:25 am, was eat about it.

Frustrated at the state of her life and its turmoil she threw the bed sheets off of herself and grabbed and put on her robe and slippers to make the trek downstairs to the kitchen. 

* * *

The house was eerily quiet while she tiptoed her way down the stairs when she stopped in her tracks only to notice, James, sitting at the kitchen island eating what it looked to be cereal from the distance. She really wasn’t expecting him to be down here at this time, let alone eating Lucky Charms? 

Teresa reached the kitchen and he turned around a little startled like she caught him red-handed or something. She’s the first the break this extremely awkward silence. “Couldn’t sleep?” She asked.

He nodded, seemingly trying to avoid as much conversation as possible. After a few seconds of silence, he chose to respond. “Food usually knocks me out.”

The edges of Teresa’s mouth turned slightly upward. “Same.” Good to know they were on the same page about one thing tonight. 

She grabbed a spoon and dug out a pint of ice cream from the freezer and with that started her way back to her room when she stopped in place and felt something tugging her back to James. She had to say something, it was literally eating at her mind. She went back down the stairs to stand directly in front of James. His brows furrowed in slight confusion.

She looked him straight in eyes, “you don’t have to say anything back. I respect that you need a break from all of this. I just want you to know I’m sorry, and that I mean it when I say I value you, that you are important to me.”

If she was really being honest with him and herself she’d say something along of lines of I’m scared of loving you. There’s something about you that sets you apart from anyone I’ve ever met and that terrifies me. But that’s not what came out.

She saw his eyes soften, he then shook his head in agreeance to what she just admitted. James was so patient with her it was almost impossible for her _not_ to love him. He cautiously put his hand on hers, intertwining their fingers for a few fleeting seconds before he pulled away and made his way back upstairs with his bowl in hand. Just like that, she watched him fade away. 

He deserved the space he said he needed, and she needed to give that to him. But that wasn’t going to stop her from getting him back, and finally allowing him into her heart. Because James was who she wanted no matter the complicated bullshit running around in her head.

Since day one he’s been there, keeping her safe, keeping her alive. Now it was time for her to do the same. Because like they've both said to each other, they were in this together. And Teresa doesn’t want to do any of this with anyone else: it’s James or nobody else. She breathed out her stresses, she felt a little less existential. There was a chance, it may be slim, but she could end up happy, she just knew it.

**Author's Note:**

> hi it's my first jeresa fic i hope i havent completely butchered their characterization lol hope you enjoyed it cause i know fics are scarce for this beautiful ship!!


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